🔗 Share this article Navigating the Desire for Casual Encounters While Seeking a Meaningful Relationship Being a gay man in my late 40s, I’ve spent numerous, mostly pleasurable years pursuing casual sex with other men since the age of 19. In my 30s, I was in a committed partnership which continued for a significant period, but it never fully satisfied me, because I felt neither loved nor sexually nourished. Truthfully, I have always craved uncommitted intimacy. Whenever I start to date a potential partner, once the newness dwindles, I always get the urge to be intimate with new partners once more. Reflecting on the Possibility of Exclusive Commitment I am now wondering whether it's possible for me to maintain a faithful partnership. I'm aware that numerous gay men engage in non-monogamous arrangements, but when I’ve witnessed them, they appear like hard work, often causing lots of heartache and envy for everyone involved. To a large extent, I want another man to love me while allowing me to remain sexually free, but I fear the emotional drain this would cause. Should I just keep having casual sex and accept that a lasting partnership is not possible? I feel somewhat confused. Each individual's sexual journey fluctuates. Avoid considering about what you require in partnerships or your ability to tolerate various forms of intimate connections in a finite way. Your needs in your current state may well change down the road; eventually you might become less ambivalent and discover greater understanding and a suitable route … or perhaps not. One day you could encounter someone who provides a life-changing chance for you by reflecting your desires completely … and later on you might decide that non-committal encounters suit you best. Worrying about what lies ahead and playing endless speculation is merely anxiety-based and squandering of your efforts. Aim to stay present in your relationships, and see the worth of each person you connect with intimately a sexual connection. When and if the time is right to deepen genuine closeness with one partner, it will be clear. The psychotherapist practices as a American psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.